Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence

Healing through Human Design – Grieving & Meeting the New Me

Healing through Human Design
Grieving & Meeting the New Me

This is one of the most beautiful and deep processes that I am going through, and I see other people going through as well.
You know, before, I had a certain image of myself. I identified certain behaviours, labels, thoughts, feelings as “myself”, as my true nature. And then I met Human Design and started to experiment with the knowledge that I am about to give you.
With grief, a very painful process starts a process of death. I have started to see and still see my identity dying, so many things I was sure that they “are me”, that are “right” for me, that are “healthy” for me.

I felt I was dying. And as we see in life, as we know in life, things are ending. And maybe you have lost someone close to you, or even went through a divorce or breakup, or maybe some just left your life. There is always sadness, pain, in losing something.
Although this “thing” would be beautiful to have, although that “thing” was horrible to have.
Losing something, separating from something, saying goodbye, shows us that we are not here forever. That this body isn’t going to stay here forever. It reminds us that this is only a temporary process. That life is all about living and dying.

But only a few years after the deconditioning started, following my body and living my experiment, I realise: I’m grieving. I’m grieving about all those moments that I did not love myself, that I did not know who I was, that I did not respect this beautiful body. I’m grieving about all the relationships that I had that were led by a personality that was not me. And I noticed myself crying, I noticed, and still notice my body experiencing a lot of pain, in my core, a very old pain. A pain so deep, that resets, that restores the body and heals the little girl that took upon herself so many things that didn’t belong to her.

I’m saying goodby to so many things outside my body, but also parting with physical sensations in my body that were once at my fingertips. These things don’t belong to my body anymore, to who I really am, now. And this is grieving for me. Just allowing myself to cry, everywhere I can. Sometimes I literally cry, and sometimes it is my essence that cries. But also, through crying and saying goodby, I’m healing.
I say, “Thank you, thank you for serving me, thank you for being part of my process, but you are no longer in my process, you are no longer part of my life. And I hold you in my arms and I let go…”

And with the grieving, meanwhile, starts a new process: Meeting the New Me.
A new light starts to awaken, a new being, a new physical sensation starts to emerge. When you start to be aware of who you are, and who you are not, you start to know a new person, a new frequency, the New You.

And even by saying it, I have tears in my eyes, because this is so touching!
It’s like meeting yourself as a reborn, it’s like holding yourself as a baby, it’s like being the mother and the father of yourself, it’s like making love with yourself. A new person starts to emerge.

So, while grieving and saying goodby to something that you are not, too many things that you are not because it’s not only one thing, it’s too many things; you also start to welcome the new you, new behaviours, thoughts, feelings, sensations… and they feel way warmer, they feel way softer, they feel like being at home.

So you are saying “goodby” to one thing, too many things, and saying “hello” to many other things. And when I say “things” it’s not only people or stuff, it’s more subtle, it’s gestures, it’s your attitude. It’s the way you move your body, it’s the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you eat, the way you dress, the way you behave, the way you relate. It’s the way you love, it’s the way you chose, moment by moment.
You actually witness a new perspective of what it means to be alive. And you start to fall in love with that new thing, with this new life. And it’s a miracle, but it’s a miracle that grows gradually, it’s not that you wake up and suddenly you are anew, not at all.

As we say In Human Design, deconditioning it’s a seven years cycle, seven years where you grieve… and seven years where you are excited, sometimes more, sometimes less. So, it’s actually like witnessing your own death, and witnessing your own birth, both at the same time.
And this is what happens through healing: we see what is no longer serving us and we love it as well, we love it so much that it becomes lighter, and a new frequency can enter. So, what is not serving us, the sadness, the pain, certain behaviours, manners which we thought defined us, could be “dissolved”, in love, and like that, we heal.
– From ” Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” –
Find more about “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” and start your healing process.
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence Studying Human Design

Why do I choose Human Design as a healing tool?

Why do I choose Human Design as a healing tool?

To be honest, I didn’t choose. Human Design chose me. I met Human Design tired and exhausted from life, lost and sad. And suddenly something clicked, as I was waiting for this kind of perspective for a long time. The words, terminology, the essence, and the frequency of Human Design resonated with me.This is why Human Design. There was a high resonation in my body.

In my perspective, Human Design is very specific. It can give me and you a very deep insight into the process of deep healing that takes plays when you are ready.
Because we are not healing in the same way, we are not healing the same specific wounds. As humans, of course, we have collective wounds, as women, as men, and more divisions. But what are the wounds that ask to be healed through your body, through my body? Human Design is categorizing and opening up in a very detailed way to your unique healing process. And this is what happens with Human Design, in that way or anthor.
Some will call awakening, some transformation or other names, I see it as Healing. A chain of healing that starts from one-self and impact the past, the present and future of others too.

So, why Human Design?

It is personal, it is individual, your healing process will not look like the healing process of another. Human Design  is giving you basic tools, basic insights, and awareness, so you can see what this healing process means for you. Who will be the characters in your healing process, the forces that will empower and support you? I don’t know. But when we chose Human Design, we chose a common language, we chose a lens to look at reality to express the forces and the mechanics in play, so slowly but surely the mind can relax and the body can take the lead.

So, why Human Design?

It is precise, it is well-labeled, there are words and frequencies that match. That I can communicate with you and understand you, because words are very tricky and Human Design has the gift of creating that bridge, between frequencies and terminology.

So, why Human Design? 

It’s a path, like any other path. It’s a tool, like any other tool. It is not better than others, it is just what you have found, what found you. So we use Human Design and eventually it becomes part of us. And I hope that will come, the moment when you can use it and put it aside, that you can use it when you need it. That it is so embodied within you, that you don’t even think about it as Human Design. It is just your life, the life.

Do you feel the call? Human Design found you?
Start your Human Design healing process with the deep inspiring online course – “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course”. 

Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence Studying Human Design

Human Design – Making Decisions From the Body

Human Design – Making Decisions From the Body

Often, a person is stuck with continuous, ruminating thoughts, and then makes choices in his life according to these thoughts. These thoughts can be fears, principles, or ideologies that have been fixed over the years.
A person can feel like a slave to the same patterns of thoughts and habits. Sometimes, the person realizes that following and acting upon these thoughts does not feel good. He encounters many objections and obstacles in life when listening to them.
There is another possibility of making decisions from within the body, as distinct from the unending flow of thought. There is a clear frequency in the body that can direct a person to choose for himself, out of Inner Authority. This is a frequency that does not enter into any convention or thought but is simply a choice that resonates in the body.
This same choice made by the body can often go against those thoughts that are assimilated from the outside, that form the complex system of human identity. Therefore, it is very possible that the thoughts will not like the choice, but the body will feel calm, satisfied, and relaxed with what is done.
Slowly, the body will gain more authority in human life. The thoughts will not go away, but will gradually lessen in the amount that they trigger a person to move around the world and behave in one way or another. Eventually, they will become only a background sound that accompanies the experience without shaping it.
Every person can reach a level of deep and complex acquaintance with his body. He is able to learn and understand it more than anyone else. He can become the inner and primary authority in his life, before any other person’s opinion or thought.
To know how to rely on the body and to make decisions in everyday life is a tool for everyone. One only has to learn to listen to it and to know how to look clearly at the thoughts that prevent him from hearing that sound.
Since I received this tool in Human Design, the body has become a little more of an authority every day, helping me to make decisions in my life. Thoughts have gradually become less meaningful in managing my actions or behavior.
Whether you are attracted to the way of connecting to the body as a source of decision-making and conducting your daily life, or you’ve heard about Human Design and it’s calling you. Feel free to reach out and receive personal guidance\ or study in your timing while you know others are ready to support you and empower your path at any given moment.
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence Studying Human Design

Life is Happening

Life is Happening

 Life is just happening. We are just taking its shape somehow. It is an illusion, thinking that we can do something about what is happening, or not do anything, or that someone is in charge of something. It is all happening one way or another. The fact that we are able to see it, to accept it, is also not our choice.
Some people call it luck, but if I manage to be correct, or not if I manage to notice or to identify which kind of forces are acting at the moment, it’s not something that is controllable. It’s just something that is happening.I see my mind screaming and fighting to know what is happening, to label it, to structure it, to give it names and explanations, and using Human Design to do that. “This is because of that… and this is because of that…” Those are all stories. They’re interesting stories. It’s nice to share stories, but remember that it’s all motion, the life that is happening.
The Freefall
I found the realization that this embodiment takes time. I didn’t really receive these words in the beginning, “no choice” and “free fall.” I heard the words, but only over time did they slowly sink into me. This was just the beginning.I can see it in myself. I can watch this attachment to the story, to the explanation, and how scary and liberating it all is for existence. It’s also scary for the mind, not knowing. Over and over again, I fall into this trap of analyzing, of trying to reason and make sense out of things that don’t have reason or sense, or they do in a certain constellation, and then they fall apart and reconstruct in another sense.
Living in this space is extremely new for me. Sometimes it’s there and sometimes not. Sometimes I’m totally diving into my realizing and controlling mind which is taking over. There is nothing that I can do about it. It’s happening or not happening. This state of freefall is not something that I can choose to be in. It’s something that is happening to me. Living the Human Design way is not something that I can do. It’s something that is happening to me. That’s so liberating.
You’re Not Doing It
Deconditioning is not a process that one can force. We all have our own timing for when we realize, what we realize, and with whom we realize. We don’t know any of this, so this requires trust. Sometimes I am fully trusting and excited, but this is also dependent on my emotional wave. Life shows me different views. It’s so deep and inspiring, and sometimes completely not. It’s having this blink of realizing that you’re not doing any of it.
The illusion of doing it is a big joke, that I can do deconditioning, that I can choose to live my design. In a certain sense, maybe you can, but on a large scale, it’s just energy passing.I have found that, for me, it gave me a lot of humbleness, and also patience, and self-realization, that I cannot rush the process. I cannot push the process of others, no matter how smart, and how clever and brilliant, I am. Also, for myself, how strict, strong, or determined I am (and with a defined ego, it’s confusing!), I cannot do anything about it.
And, by not doing it, it is happening that way or another. I love observing, catching how people get things, when they get them, or not. I love observing myself, realizing things only when I realize them, not before and not after. I realize things only when life is showing me when it is passing through me, when I’m trusting that it’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.
The Contradiction, or Not
Discussing Human Design, and at the same time thinking that we are doing it, is a contradiction. It’s fine to be there in contradiction. It’s okay to believe in it, until at some point you stop, or not. I’m grateful when those moments arrive. It’s kind of a tiny light to a beautiful possibility of living the life, of expressing life without oppression, without stress, without fear. We all have our own timing. I love the different timing that we each have.Our life, its magic, and its unique expression are creating something. I wish you all a very rich experience, one where you can let go of doing it or of the idea of doing it. Take care and love to your process and where you are.
Awareness + / Contemplation Questions.
Have you experienced a time in your life when the forces took control, where life happened, and you had no control over the outcome?
What did this feel like? 
Did you find yourself fighting against it, or did you just let it unfold naturally?
Are you a person who tries to intellectualize everything, to attach explanations or definitions to the various aspects of life, or do you tend to mostly observe?
Perhaps you do a bit of both. If that’s the case, how does it feel in each mind frame? Do you prefer one way over the other?
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence Relationship

To know my ride, to ride my ride, to love my ride.

To know my ride, to ride my ride, to love my ride

This weekend, as I was driving it was a sunset moment, the roads were kind of quiet and I felt like – this is it!
This is Human Design for me!
It is driving. It’s seeing my own body in space and learning out of the experience. It’s seeing the view change, seeing the people coming and going, my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings and practicing the mechanics. Seeing the mechanics.
Learning through movement.
What I see happening is that I can sit inside my car and study everything about the mechanics of the car without using it.
That actually my real learning is happening when I drive the car, when I check if there is enough air in the wheels, if the steering wheel is moving smoothly, if I have enough gasoline, if the windows are clean or not.
I need to check it for real just because I drive, and while I drive I can hear the noises in my car or I can hear the different songs that play out on the radio.
Looking backwards
I understand looking backward, now. Before I met Human Design and before I knew my inner mechanics, I was hiding from life. I was hiding from interactions, from people, honest decision making, from taking my real place in life because I was afraid and I did not know how I operate.
I was afraid of losing myself among others and I didn’t know what to trust within me. I did not know to separate what is me and what is the other, and it kept me locked within my own cocoon. Slowly I was shrinking and getting cold and lonely.
Luckily Human Design came and slowly but surely I saw how to start to open up and start to take my place in the world, as myself.
I dare to move, to drive around, to open up to people because I have my own ground. I start to feel my own body and trust it.
What I see when I meet people, and I am within my own experience, I see our duality of pain and happiness, the duality of mind and body, the duality of the physical plane and the spiritual plane, the duality of me and you.
I see that everything can co-exist.
I could not feel it before, I only knew it as a concept but now it’s an experience. It’s evident and it’s tangible.
I can see that things can appear and disappear together and that there is a place for everything.
I start to feel my own place. Therefore, I can give place in my life to other people. I can give place to other frequencies within my awareness.
This process is happening to me through making decisions, through actions.
Through literally taking my car and driving, moving in the world, talking to people, interacting and daring to choose and change every day.
No matter what I know about Human Design and about my chart, it does not count for me if I cannot live it out and if I cannot experience my life fully.
Meeting other cars
Human Design is helping me to make this ride on the road smooth and safe, interesting, and inspiring. Being on the road is for me. Meeting the people that are for me.
Once I know the mechanics, I can just experiment with it, I can play with it, and I can trust it.
When I drive in my own car and I look out the window, I see other cars, and I don’t care if they drive faster or slower, or if they’re more expensive or if they crash.
When I look outside and I see other cars, either I find that they are relevant to me and to my process, and I get inspired, empowered, and my experience gets richer, or I find they have no value for me.
But if I do not remain on my own ride, I cannot enjoy other people. places, interactions.
Only my road allows it to happen. The road that is exactly for me.
To know my ride, to ride my ride, to love my ride.
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence

The two entities that I am here to watch and live.

The two entities that I am here to watch and live.

I want to share about the controlling and organized mind. I have the 21 gate in the defined ego center but it is in the black. That 21 gate always wants to control and to make an order and to put limits. So this is not me, this is my personality, it is here for others.
This is the spoken voice in my head and it is funny to see that whenever my body experiences something, whatever it is, this controlling mind will come and want to organize the experience. It will want to understand what is wrong and what needs to be fixed in that experience for the next time.

It’s amazing that I can actually see all the black as it appears in my gates and channels and to see how they speak through my personality becoming a spoken voice in my head that dictates what needs to be done.
If you have the information and the interest you can follow all the black gates and channels, and to see them in your life. See when those thoughts are passing in your brain to see when you talk those thoughts to others and yourself.
The funny thing is that this is not you, not me, this is our personality. This is made for the other; it is not made for us to make decisions from. It is hilarious because those black definitions can be very intelligent and very convincing!
My mind is very smart and very intelligent and can tell amazing stories and explain things in a marvelous way but this is not the body!
This is not who is here to make decisions. The mind does not know anything about me and what is good for my life and what is good for my journey. The mind of nobody is here to make decisions for us.

The “Mind” in Human Design?
Ajna – We have the Ajna mind, the consistent thought process, which makes life as concepts and stories.
Personality – We have a mind which is the black channels and gates in our design, who we think we are!
Colored in White – We have the mind which is coming from the undefined/ open centers and gates and channels, that is exemplifying the outside and becoming not-self or wisdom.
Altogether they are creating a separate entity of what we think, what we are convinced that we are. And it’s amazing to see this duality! To see that we have this character that we think is us and we try to serve this character, this entity. This basically means that there is also a different entity, the red that is in our body, it is life, it is the authentic self.
The red, the body, the self It is the unexplainable movement of love and transformation that goes through us. And these two entities are not friends in the beginning of our lives, just not friends. The body wants something and the personality wants something else. The defined centers want something and the undefined centers want another thing and we are here just to watch it in play.
I am here to watch it, and you?

This that we watch does not mean we can do anything about it. The fact that I see my mind taking me to action doesn’t mean that I can do anything about it. I can just observe it and forgive it.
Noting: This is the frequency of mind taking over. I just saw that!
We can also see your body taking action and suddenly talking without thought or moving or hugging or loving or crying and also noting: wow what a movement without thought, this is so beautiful and I am just watching it.
We are here to watch it.

For me, this is the binary consciousness and the endless stories of body and mind. At a certain moment when the body is taking over completely then the mind becomes a beautiful outer authority, and tells beautiful stories to others, for others, It is no longer pushing us to action.
We can never ignore the mind or delete it but it is no longer the boss. It is no longer telling us what to do. Even if it is telling us what to do, the body answers:” yeah dude I hear you but not today!”. And maybe at a certain point, it just becomes a white noise like it’s there but not very important.

I am just seeing the movement of body and mind and it is basically endless. Endlessly seeing the body wants to do something and the mind telling it otherwise. Seeing the body still and the mind saying:” No, you have to do something!”. Or the opposite, the body has a lot of energy and wants to move and talk and the mind says:” No! stay here, stay still”. Hilarious, yeah?

We all have this schizophrenic syndrome, we are all this and that.
There is no need to separate the mind or try to make the mind disappear. Just embrace all of it as one experience. The human experience.

Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence

What does waiting mean to you? Simplicity is key, and the mind doesn’t like it!

What does waiting mean to you? Simplicity is key, and the mind doesn't like it!

I would love to share some new discoveries and contemplations about an essential aspect of Human Design that is waiting. What is waiting? Why do we wait? Why do I wait? What does waiting bring to my life?

Waiting is an active state. It’s not a passive state of waiting for something to happen. It’s more so a state of deep awareness, a deep alert state. I stopped seeing waiting as a curse. I think that at the beginning of my process, and maybe even until now, I felt like waiting was acting out of fear, putting everything off and ignoring the problem, acting as if everything was okay.Now I realize that waiting is an opportunity for me to sink more into my body. It allows me to see different perspectives. As a 6/2 profile, this is one of the most precious qualities I will ever have – seeing the perspective. As an emotional manifestor, my gift is having the perspective of emotions, the depth of emotions.

So, basically, waiting is a big gift. Waiting doesn’t mean that I’m sitting in my room and staring out of the window (sometimes I am), but it means that I’m not rushing to know the answer, not rushing to understand what things mean, not rushing to take action. It’s being in a floating, suspended mode and being okay with that. When you wait, when I wait, sometimes the fear and a lot of thinking patterns, hard emotions, all kinds of stories and memories, and traumas are there. Waiting actually touches all the places that want to be awakened, all the places that are hurting because when you do nothing, you feel more. While waiting, I’m living my life practicing sports, reading, studying, spending time in nature, with friends. So it is active in a way, but I’m not rushing to know anything. And for me, this is one of the key elements in Human Design that you trust your body. I trust my body, I trust my inner authority, I trust my aura mechanics and I know that when the time is right, the body will do what it needs to do. When the time is right, I will say what I need to say. When the time is right, initiation will come through me. And it’s amazing to see this state of waiting in comparison to the mind that likes to analyze, judge, measure, blame and figure everything out.

The more we approach 2027, the stronger the frequency of nothingness will get. It will be all about the individual pulse: “I don’t know, I don’t know until I know.” The closer we get to 2027, the more present the frequency of mutation will be on Earth. And mutation means melancholy, void, a blip, black matter. It is what it is. And it’s scary. It’s scary because we are coming from the Cross of Planning, which is about organizing and doing, it’s about patterns and our family, our people. Everything feels secure in that cross. And now we are coming to the Cross of Sleeping Phoenix. And here you’re either asleep or awake.

I’m starting to feel the deep waiting in my daily life when my body doesn’t do anything. Then my mind comes in and says: “Yeah, but you have to. Think about money and people, and this and that.” And my body responds: “What? No, you don’t have to. It’s not here, the energy is not here so you don’t need to do it.” I think this is one of the most beautiful gifts of Human Design. When you surrender to your strategy and authority (waiting for a response, waiting for an invitation, waiting to initiate, waiting for a lunar cycle), you start seeing the natural flow of life. It’s like when a flower blooms and when it dies – there is no story about it, there is no rush, there is no judgment. It’s just that when a flower blooms, it blooms, and when it dies, it dies.

And it’s amazing how humankind has all kinds of stories and manipulations, conspiracies, and judgments about this and that. And it’s great, stories are great. I love stories. But then there’s a difference between stories and decision-making. It becomes a real mess if a story becomes the source of decision-making. But when there’s a decision making and there’s a story that we tell along the way as a passenger’s movie (the body is moving and the passenger is watching), this is something else. At least, for me. I can see myself, when I tell a story and try to find a solution out of the story or when I just tell a story as if I was looking at a flower. I just look at the flower and describe the flower – I don’t explain why and why not the flower is what it is.

I’m sharing these waiting insights with you and it’s so simple. Just so simple. Waiting. And at the same time, the mind hates it. The mind hates waiting: all the undefined centers, channels, and gates push us to action. They push us to do, to know, to understand, to make sense. But we have no clue. We have no clue about what is going on here. We can only know what is happening now. For example, I’m sitting here and writing to you. What’s next? What was before? I don’t know.

I was listening to Ra’s lectures while preparing for my course and he said that Human Design was difficult for clever and smart people because of its simplicity. The more clever you are, the more challenging this process is because you try to make sense, you try to explain. I know I tried to explain. There’s naïveté in a good sense in being stupid and dumb. There are just two modes: I wait or I do. What’s in between them is just a story. I do or I wait. It’s simple. It’s what drives so many people nuts: Human Design is so simple. The system itself, the way it’s built, the knowledge is complex, but the actual practice of Human Design is simple. I agree that sometimes we need more explanation. Our brain, our Ajna wants more explanation, more complexity, more depth. It’s okay. It’s okay to have depth, it’s okay to have complexity. But it’s good to make sure we are not drowning in this complexity and depth. In the end, it’s simple. You do or you don’t, you wait or you act. You can add layers of complexity, depth, explanations, stories, or whatever your trip is on top of it, but the basic is: I do or I wait. This is it.

I wish I could give you something more glamorous, but it’s really just that simple. No big secrets for daily practice. For the knowledge itself, yes, there are a lot of secrets and juicy stuff, amazing details, endless keynotes. I love it! This is why I teach it, but it has to go with the practice. The practice is exposing the complexity. We need opposites. If all had been so complex and mind-blowing, there would have been no balance. So the simplicity of strategy and authority together with the complexity of the knowledge in creating this amazing mix. On one hand, everything is simple, on the other hand, everything is complex. They can coexist.
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence

The Deconditioning and Healing process, being ready to experience pain and pleasure.

The Deconditioning and Healing process, being ready to experience pain and pleasure.

I would like to share about deconditioning process and the healing that happens through deconditioning.For me, Human Design is not a healing therapy. It’s not that I am here to fix anything. But healing happens through me when I become myself flowing my body.
I can find pain and fear stored in each channel and in each gate, and in each center in my bodygraph from all the moments when I hadn’t respected who I was and had taken distorted information into my body. There is pain that resulted from the decisions that I have made according to that information I had taken in. This is stored in my physical body, in my memory, in my cells.

And once I start respecting myself and my body, those things will be asked to heal and they will require attention, love, and safe space. Human Design is the mechanics for me to see that happening, but once I respect the mechanics, something else starts to awaken.
I knew that after meeting the knowledge, my life isn’t going to change in a split second – there will be no unicorns and nothing will magically become perfect. Maybe the opposite. Maybe more pain will come to life, more memories, more conflicts and anger, bitterness and frustration, more disappointment. As the body will take all the poison out on the surface for me to see and experience it clearly. And it’s not that I am doing any of it, not that I need to focus on it. It simply happens when I make decisions from my body, as a cleansing process.
I wish to be kind to myself, to be compassionate, and to forgive myself because it is not an easy trip. The more the pain presents itself, the more love, attention, and care are needed.I hope that you’re in the environment with the people that see you as you are and that they are not judging you, not trying to change you, but rather they are acknowledging the pain you’re going through, knowing it is part of growing and transforming too.

I am here for it when I meet to support people on the HD path. As I deeply understand that it’s not easy to go through this – to fight the disease of the mind. It is, indeed, a disease. Along the way, I met physical pain. The body reacts once started living as myself. The body talked, the body expressed its scream because for so many years I have neglected it. It doesn’t mean that I become completely sick, but the more I sink into my authority and my body, the more pain wanted to come out. and it came out, if it happens to you too I wish you to simply notice it, witness it. As it is.

Human Design is a physical experience. It’s not mental knowledge. Once again, it’s a physical experience. The physical experience of this body has emotional pain, intellectual pain, physical pain, spiritual pain along with pleasure. It’s not that everything is about pain. Pleasure will be there hand by hand with pain. It’s like a death and rebirth cycle. Once I entered the Human Design experiment, I started to die. All the things that I have thought about myself and my personality are constantly dying. All the things I have identified myself with are dying and I am witnessing it. And I am witnessing my own birth as well. And yes, there’s pain there. Yes, there is also pleasure and joy, and excitement, while I am actually rebirthing myself. While I am witnessing my own rebirth.

It is beautiful and it is powerful to go through life as one thing and to become another being through deconditioning and to return to who I was in the first place, to simplicity of the body.

I wish us to go through it completely and to transmit the knowledge to others with grace and compassion so that our children don’t need to repeat the same process and can have their different processes to go through.
I’m sending a lot of love to your process, to what you’re going through, and to letting you know you’re not alone in this. Give yourself a loving nest where you can rest and heal while going through this process. It’s a 7-year process and it’s continuous, not like the little flu. It will transform your life. It is transforming your life right now so see if you can be kind to yourself while it happens.
Deconditioning Emotional & Non-Emotional Beings Essence Relationship

Who can not wait for me is not meant for me

Who can not wait for me is not meant for me

One of the biggest observations that I’ve had so far in the Human Design experiment is knowing that I am here to respect myself and respecting myself means to wait for my inner authority. This is the deepest respect that I can give to myself.This is one of the biggest expressions of self-love that I found for myself.
If other people cannot wait for me when I need more time I realize they simply aren’t for me. They are most likely amazing people and generous and loving and special human beings. If they are naturally in their behavior and state of mind they can not wait for me then on some level they cannot, right now, love me as I am.
If they are pushing me to act, if they are judging me or blaming me for the time I need it is not easy for me and is a message for me saying “well maybe they are not for you Bar”.
The people that can wait for me naturally that are not pushing me or judging me or blaming me for not behaving in a way they want me to behave, in a way they are saying to me “you are loved as you are, I am loving you as you are, you are welcome in your own timing.”
Especially for me as an Emotional Manifestor, this is very important because I really move on my own inner timing. Sometimes I really do need a long time to feel if something is right for me or not. For me, if someone is not respecting the waiting in a way it is a message that is saying: I am not trusting life, I’m not trusting divine timing, I’m not trusting that everything has its own place to exist and its particular timing.
For me, it is a deeper message than: You’re not fast enough or you’re not applying life the way I want it to be. This is a deeper message for me that says this person cannot let go of his/her mind.
This is something I am struggling with for myself, not allowing the mind to control my life so I don’t need people around me who still use the mind as an authority. In a way, it is even better for me to be around people who first, don’t respect the timing for me to move and second of all-seeing or thinking that the mind is an authority.
Again those people are not bad people or have bad intentions they are most probably amazing human beings but what I am asking myself are those people for me? Are they part of my specific journey? Do they fit the way I see life and want to behave in this life? Sometimes it is not easy to see people leaving and feel people abandoning my energetic field.
But I am here to trust my body, that it is leading me, my inner authority is leading me and whatever needs to happen is happening, maybe at the price of changing the environment and the people around me.
Whoever cannot wait for me is not for me. Maybe the mind wants to keep everyone around me and to be nice and polite and keep everything perfect and in place but the body knows and has no fear.
The body is completely satisfied with what is happening right now and the body trusts. Most probably it is the mind struggling and wanting me to be something that I am not. I am encouraging you to let go of people who cannot see you, understand you, or respect your inner authority. I am wishing myself to let go with love and compassion. It is not about them being wrong or not true to who they are. They are doing their journey and I am doing my journey so may we all be respected and respect the timing of the other. If there is no mutual respect maybe things need to change and unfold differently.
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence

What is my place and role in the big picture? How does it feel to live it?

What is my place and role in the big picture? How does it feel to live it?

Let’s have a little moment to talk about the our role and the piece that we are in the big picture.
When I am true and loyal to the body, I can just see where I fit and what my role and job are in the big program.
Before I met Human Design, I felt that I hadn’t fit in. There was everything: the world, so many people, so many directions and things that could be done, so much to heal. I was wondering about my own role and place in that human roller coaster. After meeting Human Design, I started following my Inner Authority, I started respecting my aura, and step by step It felt like I was entering a ray of light that was dedicated only to me.

The beauty is that each person in this world has this ray of light that is capable of meeting people who need to encounter this light. Only the body knows that. The mind can not grasp my direction, who I need to meet and when I need to go, and why. The mind can not understand the timing of it. It’s too complex.

We have a magnetic monopole located in the G center and it just takes us in space. Each one of us can find their exact location and this is what we call “limitation”. It’s not about being everything, it’s not about being who we want to be – it’s about being exactly who we are meant to be. Then It feels effortless.

I must say that thanks to Human Design I felt like I could find my place. As an emotional Manifestor, I had always felt a bit alienated not knowing what to do with all the generators and projectors … I questioned where I belonged? and if I could even belong?

And my answer is yes, there is a space for everybody. But this space can be felt only when the red is in charge, only when I am in line with the form. And it takes a while like everything. It takes a while to enter this path. And the beauty is, again, that there’s a place for everybody.
People are saying that there is not enough money, not enough food, not enough this, not enough that. In my view, there is a place for everybody and enough for everybody. There is a place and energy that is sufficient for everybody.

We are a little piece in a big masterpiece. We can only perform our role. When we are in our role in accordance with our profile, channels, gates, and all the lines, it doesn’t take any effort. It’s just like a falling leaf, like a growing tree, like a blooming flower.