The uncertainty. Who am I without future plans or past experiences?

I have been wondering about who I am without the plan, who I am without the future and without the past, which is a frequency that inspires me the most.
I look at times when I am canceling meetings and commitments I did, because the body indicates to do so, and then the mind is saying right away: “ Yeah, but if you don’t schedule or if you don’t know when it’s going to be, or if you cancel, you will lose your job, your profession, who you are!!”.
So I allow myself to hang around for a moment with those thoughts, and I see the pattern of how the mind is defining me with future plans or past experiences. I watch how immediately the judgment of the mind comes. It is telling me about who I would be without those plans, without those activities, who I would be in that void.
For me, this is what the Human Design experience is actually doing – it’s taking off layer after layer of a dense mind and I stay naked inside this void. In the beginning, it was very scary and even now it can be at times very scary.
I remember myself when I started following my inner authority and feeling a lot of moments of uncertainty, of not knowing, and at first, it was even horrible and terrifying. However, year after year it started to feel more like home. Every day and every week, and every month and every year the unknown is becoming second nature.I guess this is the frequency we are all coming to. We are all coming to this 2027 that holds the frequency of the channel 34-20 – response in the now, knowing in now or not, melancholy, uncertainty and full energy self-empowerment, where the past doesn’t really matter and the future doesn’t really matter. only now count.
So I am talking a moment to see this process of losing control and the fun of doing so, the beauty and the no choice of it. I feel like there’s no choice. I see my mind forcing the body to do this and that just because it’s good for this and that, and the body just doesn’t move.
The mind explains why things I am supposed to be doing are “good”, and how they are supposed to benefit my future or whatever, even if my body does not feel like it.This is exactly the place where inner authority kicks in, gives me an alternative, so I will not rely on the mind. so I will not rely on what should/could/must be. I can just trust simple feeling, knowing, sensing of the body, I just have my inner authority and whatever it chooses will be the process or the experience I need to have.
There is no logic to it, no logic. Remember that we are coming from the Cross of Planning that is filled with logic, planning the details for the future, planning the skills, working and supporting the tribe. But, now we are entering a completely different cross, the cross of Sleeping Phoenix. This cross is about self-empowerment, individual development, motivated by being present in the NOW, not seeking anything out there in the collective or the tribe, and wishes to display individual passion and self-interest .
Can you see the difference between the crosses? Can you feel the atmosphere changing in the air?
The mind can attribute meaning to things, but whether they have a meaning or not doesn’t define them. And it’s not like I don’t have moments when my mind is completely showing off telling the story and finding reasons, and verbalizing and conceptualizing life. Of course, it is doing that – even this very text that you read.
But there’s always a dance between my mind being completely convinced of how things are and needs to be done based on that and or the mind that is just telling a story to have fun and then comes back being uncertain, unsure – just watching life.
In my view Human Design is not giving more mental confidence, It gives me more uncertainty but also the ability to be more comfortable being uncertain. Until the experience becomes every day like – The uncertainty? Oh, okay, I’m familiar with it. I know it.
I hope you have an inspiring day for yourself not knowing what it’s going to be. And if you know what it’s going to be, in this knowing can you also have a lot of unknown? There can be a lot of uncertainty in any given situation, the uncertainty between the words, the uncertainty between the movements of your body. Even if you have a 9-5 job, even if you’re married with children and obligations, , even if your routine is super scheduled, there are so many moments that are uncertain –
Can you enjoy them? Or do they stress you out?
In my view those are pleasurable moments,I learn to enjoy them, I learn to wake up into the void time after time and to go to sleep into it because actually this void it’s not at all empty – is full of life!