The Deconditioning and Healing process, being ready to experience pain and pleasure.

I would like to share about deconditioning process and the healing that happens through deconditioning.For me, Human Design is not a healing therapy. It’s not that I am here to fix anything. But healing happens through me when I become myself flowing my body.
I can find pain and fear stored in each channel and in each gate, and in each center in my bodygraph from all the moments when I hadn’t respected who I was and had taken distorted information into my body. There is pain that resulted from the decisions that I have made according to that information I had taken in. This is stored in my physical body, in my memory, in my cells.

And once I start respecting myself and my body, those things will be asked to heal and they will require attention, love, and safe space. Human Design is the mechanics for me to see that happening, but once I respect the mechanics, something else starts to awaken.
I knew that after meeting the knowledge, my life isn’t going to change in a split second – there will be no unicorns and nothing will magically become perfect. Maybe the opposite. Maybe more pain will come to life, more memories, more conflicts and anger, bitterness and frustration, more disappointment. As the body will take all the poison out on the surface for me to see and experience it clearly. And it’s not that I am doing any of it, not that I need to focus on it. It simply happens when I make decisions from my body, as a cleansing process.
I wish to be kind to myself, to be compassionate, and to forgive myself because it is not an easy trip. The more the pain presents itself, the more love, attention, and care are needed.I hope that you’re in the environment with the people that see you as you are and that they are not judging you, not trying to change you, but rather they are acknowledging the pain you’re going through, knowing it is part of growing and transforming too.

I am here for it when I meet to support people on the HD path. As I deeply understand that it’s not easy to go through this – to fight the disease of the mind. It is, indeed, a disease. Along the way, I met physical pain. The body reacts once started living as myself. The body talked, the body expressed its scream because for so many years I have neglected it. It doesn’t mean that I become completely sick, but the more I sink into my authority and my body, the more pain wanted to come out. and it came out, if it happens to you too I wish you to simply notice it, witness it. As it is.

Human Design is a physical experience. It’s not mental knowledge. Once again, it’s a physical experience. The physical experience of this body has emotional pain, intellectual pain, physical pain, spiritual pain along with pleasure. It’s not that everything is about pain. Pleasure will be there hand by hand with pain. It’s like a death and rebirth cycle. Once I entered the Human Design experiment, I started to die. All the things that I have thought about myself and my personality are constantly dying. All the things I have identified myself with are dying and I am witnessing it. And I am witnessing my own birth as well. And yes, there’s pain there. Yes, there is also pleasure and joy, and excitement, while I am actually rebirthing myself. While I am witnessing my own rebirth.

It is beautiful and it is powerful to go through life as one thing and to become another being through deconditioning and to return to who I was in the first place, to simplicity of the body.

I wish us to go through it completely and to transmit the knowledge to others with grace and compassion so that our children don’t need to repeat the same process and can have their different processes to go through.
 
I’m sending a lot of love to your process, to what you’re going through, and to letting you know you’re not alone in this. Give yourself a loving nest where you can rest and heal while going through this process. It’s a 7-year process and it’s continuous, not like the little flu. It will transform your life. It is transforming your life right now so see if you can be kind to yourself while it happens.