My experience with the undefined sacral

The undefined sacral is a very interesting topic for me to share about. Over the years I discovered so many layers of wisdom and pain within this center.
I grew up in a house with a generator mother and brother. Both my father and I are Manifestors and of course, have undefined sacrals.
When I was told that I’m not here to work, I could not believe how deep this sentence goes, and I started an ongoing investigation of what “work” really means to me?
And if I’m not here to “work”, what am I here for?
 
Sacral Rehab
 
In the first two years of my Human Design experiment, I felt I was passing through a complete “sacral rehab” as I like to call it. I was reducing work, physical activity, interaction with people, all I was longing for was just time on my own while doing nothing, hanging around with, myself, or going crazy, but surely learning to be with whatever is and I managed to do so. To maintain my needs with really little work, to make space for my own, to spend most of my days floating in my own bubble.
Now I understand that cutting away from the world was the relatively easy part, and that actually the real sacral rehab is just starting! What do I mean by that? When I had no excuses, no outer distractions, no physical work that demanded much of my attention or time, then I had to meet all the thinking patterns, pain, memories, dark places hidden in the undefined sacral.
I remember that one of the most powerful thoughts I had is “ life is happening outside, around people in constant activity. If I’m not there I’m not alive”.
 
If I’m not working and producing, meeting with people, who am I then?
I felt confusion, self-doubt, loneliness, fear, and disorientation, while I allowed myself not to be available.
I knew I was passing through a very deep transformation. Every day I discovered a little piece of my real energy, every day I discovered a sacral addiction. I could recognize it in the physical body and mental body. I remember being very tired and getting exhausted easily. I remember how weird it felt to be so young yet so tired!
But for the first time in my life, I did not try to solve it, thinking that something was wrong with me. I knew I wasn’t sick. I knew that I was healing from one of the most powerful conditioning we have as non-sacral beings.
 
Wisdom
 
After 2-3 years,  I discovered new energy rising within my body, I felt like the first part of the rehab was over, and the resting and investigation became a wisdom resource. My main questions became how to channel and navigate energy correctly? How could I be efficient and organized enough to use my beautiful life force?
I have energy because I’m alive, because I’m here, and my energy is indeed special and different, and I have to treat it like that!
I learned to be attentive to all the things that give me energy, and all the things to take my energy away: food, people, working space, inspiration input, physical activity, resting time, physical environment – I saw everything through the lens of what gives me energy and what takes away the energy?
 
I didn’t feel bad anymore saying no, setting my boundaries, having enough sleep, working hours that were fitting for my physical condition.
I feel like I started to master the art of quantities, which would increase quality. I know there is still a long way to go, but I feel my body is cleaner and clearer every day. I don’t experience burnout anymore. I recover fast. I feel vital and inspired more than ever.
And I’m looking forward to using this energy and to keep on expanding.
I also know that it didn’t happen in one day. I had to go through many days of emptiness, tears, facing a lot of my fears.
Now I see the sacral condition as a source of pure wisdom. All the undefined sacral beings are possessing this beautiful precious gift, which is handling energy correctly, efficiently, and maximizing quality.