The open spleen is one of the most fascinating centers to look at in my body graph. The spleen is completely open, and all fears and intuitions are passing through there.
The illusion of physical safety
I remembered my father told me that as a child I used to enter a road full of cars without even caring, with no fear, and with complete ignorance of the possible danger. When I grew up, those reckless decisions became an attachment and an unreasonable fear for survival.
A few months before I entered the Human Design experiment, I had a boyfriend with a defined spleen, and I remember feeling so safe around him, like I could do anything and be everywhere and at any time and under any conditions, acting like a complete Tarzan. But while alone I would not even consider those adventures.
After a few months of dating, I needed to leave my place, and I immediately jumped on the opportunity to live next to him, close to nature, in a yurt. Back then he had no running water and no heating system. He was almost self-sufficient with all physical needs. My mind found it charming, but my body suffered immensely.
The feeling of being protected, like I could do everything around him was so strong! Once I came back home, all the courage and curiosity vanished away, and I was glad to come back to my princess palace which is clean and warm, compared to him it even seemed spoiled.
Seeing conditioning in action!
After a while, I met the Human Design experiment and dove radically into it. Our road started to split, and he funny enough had almost all the same undefined centers I have. The genes are just trying to find the perfect match and with no Inner Authority, they succeed in doing so! Hilarious!
I was deep in my experiment and could not ignore the mechanics. I needed my space alone, to not be overloaded by sacral energy, to take care of my body, not to make any intuitive decisions, or to be under pressure.
I came to him and I said that I might take some distance for a while. He knew about Human Design, and he respected me while being convinced that I’m crazy 🙂 He was extremely kind but could not understand things that I experienced within my body while I’m around him.
The same day we broke up and I left his place. I remember all my body shaking, I started to cry, and I felt like a little baby being left alone in the dark. Like I might die every second moment, or as if someone will come in any moment and eat me. I felt unprotected and weak. Like I could literally not survive on my own. (although I had already been living on my own since the age of 18, including three years alone in foreign countries).
Because I had in my awareness the knowledge of Human Design, I knew those were only the voices of my open spleen speaking in their not self-frequency. And I could see clearly its effect on my body! Once I got home everything disappeared, the chemistry dissolved, and I felt relieved.
I understood that all the moments that I wanted to be spontaneous, to be out there in nature under every possible condition, while I trust my intuition, are simply false. I learned to respect the needs of my physical body, to take good care of it, knowing that my body is extremely sensitive, seeing over and over again that I can have fears with no proportion.
Nowadays I surrender to the fact that I am a little princess, and I need my palace. I need to be very attentive to the food I put in my body, to hot and cold weather, and even to the people that I meet. Now I just enjoy seeing people living in the wild, being intuitive, I enjoy seeing their trip while knowing that this is not mine. And I thank, once again, the Human Design knowledge and embodied experience, exposing to me time after time who I am and what I’m not, so I can enjoy my ride and live it fully.
Undefined and open spleen people – how do you experience it? What do you discover about yourself from it?