A friend once asked me: “Hey, Bar, what are you doing?” And then that friend started analyzing this and that, and I replied: “I just do what I do.”
And this is a state, which is interesting to me because we live in this world of the Maia, where we analyze everything. The personality is documenting every moment in our life. But then there is the consciousness of the body. The body doesn’t need any words. It’s just here, it has no need to describe what is happening, why it’s happening, no need to have any references to the future or the past. For me, opening this document to just write to you is the simplicity of what I can be. I can just start writing and I don’t need to understand why I’m doing it or what is the topic that I’m going to share, and why I’m sharing it with you. It’s just that I am here.
It’s funny that us, humans, or our mind thinks that we need reasons in order to do or not do something. And for me, the process of following Human Design, in the beginning, started as a mental trip. I thought I would be happier, I would be more of something. I thought I needed something and knew how it worked. And it’s funny because now it has brought me to the basic level of just being me. I am just me. I am. And there’s everything in this “I am” -ness: there’s fear, there’s the mind, there’s the body and there is this and that.
But it feels like there’s nowhere to go with all of this, whereas before I felt like I needed to go somewhere or to improve, or change, or adapt. The mind wanted all of those realizations to happen, while now, especially in my process of going on the roof, nothing needs to be changed. Nothing. What I feel, what I think, what I have or don’t have doesn’t need to be changed. And within this, paradoxically, there is a constant change.
This is the illusion of the Maia: there is a fact, which is the body, the fact that I am writing, that my blood is streaming, the fact that you can feel my illusion through words, and then there is an invention, the personality that’s inventing our reality and concepts. We invent words, we invent everything that we experience. The body just is. It’s not having any concept or any terminology to what it experiences. And then we are the fiction, the illusion, the combination between the body and the personality.
Now I don’t even realize that I’m writing about this. To have this body and to have this invention, which is the personality, and to have the illusion that we are in the Maia is all a big illusion. Money, food, and thoughts are all elusive. It’s so funny that we, human beings, are taking it so seriously. I took it so seriously, too. I thought that being alive was such a serious thing, that one had to achieve something! Well, actually, it’s as serious as breathing in and breathing out. It’s so simple! It’s funny that education and things around us are making us think there’s a goal, that we need to get somewhere, that we need to have more money or children, or a better house, or this or that. We don’t need any of that! It just happens.
I must say that Human Design has served me to talk the way I talk, to feel the way I feel. Human Design has established order in my internal and external worlds. Human Design has labeled things for me so I can relate to them. But when I label the inner and the outer world, then, actually, it dissolves completely.
It can be compared to listening to music or reading poetry. You can analyze word by word, sound by sound, but in certain moments the sound is fading and you just hear the music, you don’t analyze the instruments. When you are reading poetry, in certain moments, you don’t read the words, you just feel the poem, you just see the flow of words together and they lose their sense. And I feel this is something I’m experiencing right now. I experience the Maia, but I also experience the absence of Maia. I experience the word itself, I experience the concept of the words in the Maia: “me”, “you”, “love”, “food”, “dog”. I experience the concept of what a dog is in the Maia, but at the same time, it dissolves.
Here we come to the essence of being One. So it’s seeing the process of verbalizing things and giving words to things and having things as a concept. But then one step afterward there is nothing. It’s just nothing. We as humans are constantly balancing these steps: reaching terminology, reaching construction, and then if something happens, we go beyond the concept. For me, this is a very interesting state.
As I am writing, I don’t try to understand if you understand what I’m writing or if it makes sense at all. It’s just something that is coming out of me – whatever. And I hope that we as humanity can reach a point of just living in that space, where we know that words and concepts don’t have so much meaning, that Human Design doesn’t have so much meaning. This or that doesn’t have so much meaning. It’s just for the sake of the game. We are just playing. It’s just a game. It’s just an illusion of being alive in the Maia.
I like when things are appearing and disappearing. It would be funny if more people could see the concept and be the concept, and at the same time could just say: “Hey, it’s not really happening. It doesn’t really matter if there is a concept and if we agree on the concept. It’s just for the sake of playing.”
I would love to take you to the essence, to that moment, where you don’t really care if Human Design exists or not. This is where I am right now. I don’t really care if Human Design exists or not, I don’t really care about this or that. I teach this and that, but I don’t really care if the concept itself works. It’s just a concept. I use it. So if you’re on this path in Human Design and you’re exploring your own way, I really wish for you to be able to take the boat of Human Design across that river and just leave the boat. Leave Human Design and just live it.
Maybe it’s going to happen to you. I mean, for me it just happened. I was so involved in Human Design and still am, in a way. But I took it so seriously. It was all the life there was for me. And now you can tell me it doesn’t work or it doesn’t exist and I will say: “Yes, okay. I don’t really care. I don’t really care if you believe in types or not if you care about the gates or not. I don’t. I don’t really care.” It doesn’t mean that I don’t see the concept or that I can’t speak the Human Design language. I just no longer have this attachment to knowledge. Who cares? This body will dissolve anyway.