Categories
Bar's Experience Lines Studying Human Design

About the 2 line in the body

About the 2 Line in the body

About the second line in the body.

Line 2 is a gentle, shy, sensitive, introverted, spiritual line.
It needs its safe and secure space to develop,to open up, and be invited as part of its projection field.
I am an emotional manifestor, with repulsive aura, the confidence of the ego, the resilience of the emotional center and a single definition however when I am hurt by something my delicate the second line digs deep and hides inside.
Its like a snail and a turtle getting into the shell or the armor, and it’s hard for it to get out until it does not feel safe, at home again.
Even if I go out, I do not shine. I am not radiant. Because I need the time to regain confidence in myself and those around me, and to create a space that feels protected again, to allow time for wounds to heal.


And it can sometimes mislead those looking outside, because I look angry, serious, distant. in control, but actually inside it hurts a lot … I was hurt because I did not respect myself, the gentle listening to my inner authority that undermined.
Sometimes I have the strong desire for a connection that will understand and listen to the vulnerability of my 2.
That I will feel a gentle caress of the soul, that I will hear comforting voices and acceptance of the pain that is taking place within me.
I wish to receive space for all the emotional-spiritual lessons I go through, for all the insights that come from the depths of pain of getting out of my deep inner center.


If I do not have a body, who do I have? Again and again I make sure I am awake to the containing vessel that I am ,I am here to give myself every answer. I am here to understand myself and the depths of my soul, I am here to cry and embrace, listen and forgive.
And this is the 6 like in the personality, which protects the body.
The body experiences, breaks down, changes, grows, shapes, shrinks and expands. And the consciousness of the personality can be like a stern judge or like a compassionate mother.


The 6 in its beauty transforms every experience into learning, spreads its wings to the skies, reminds the delicate and vulnerable body that is allowed to converge in, knowing that others will not always understand, receive, contain when I need but for that I have me, I have the deep and pure understanding of myself. Everything that happens is for my best. Everything is part of my process. Everything is part of my path.
Thanks to learning myself, I can ask and let the body answer, I can break down and let the body collect the pieces. .
Inner authority is my ability to affirm myself on all levels, and allow every space in my life to be my home. Between me and myself.

Sending love from the conch, in constant growth.
Categories
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Studying Human Design

Is Human Design Reading/ first exposure to your chart enough?

Is Human Design Reading/ first exposure to your chart enough?

Many times I wondered about that question,but my answer kept being the same – NO!
I know about myself and from watching many others! – Personal Human Design reading is the first exposure of your chart, it is JUST the first step,it is the explosion, it is the first stone, it is the initial jump, but it is only the very beginning of a long transformative radical life changing process!
When I had my first readings I barely can remember half of the things that were said, not because I was not up to it, interested or super open to take in, it was just because it IS a new language, it IS new awareness.

As we came from a not-self world, homogenise’s way of behaviour and thinking – suddenly to see the chart and what it means – it IS mind-blowing! Literally it is the last thing your mind wants!
Even for the “spiritual” people among us, no matter what you know or practice, to own Human Design change takes 7 years, not more and nor less.
So after one reading do you believe you are able to grasp everything? To live your design?
No way.

After a reading the mind is just overwhelmed by the information, knowledge and insights.
And because the mind is stupid it just wants to know more and more, thinking that this will organize the life.
Some you might find yourself reading endlessly about Human Design, spending hours on videos and recordings, but it’s still the mind seeking for an answer. BUT the body has its own timing.
The body knows that it takes time to own its Authority back and it will not be easy.

How can this change?, instead of chasing after information and starting to actually transform?

Only when I started my regular guidance with my Human Design Guide, I was able to understand something through the body because he made me sense, feel, see the knowledge in REAL LIFE, moment after moment while we speak!
Only after I started to offer regular guidance myself, I could see the difference in people’s awareness and behaviour, the people that were committed and graceful to keep on coming back and asking for impact and alignment, only with them I was able to see the radical shift.
Because a guide is explaining and providing the knowledge in a way you could understand and perceive it now.. – because it is a live transmission through vivid conversation, not a silent book that can not answer you! . And the most important thing is that a correct guide will never let you fall by just giving you information because your mind wants that!

Because meeting a person is not like a book or an audio, it’s a transformative frequency that cannot be replaced, that is worth all the money and investment of energy, because it is precise, it is accurate! It is seeing YOU, talking to YOU, talking about YOUR life!
And there is nothing more personal than a Human Design chart.

What can also go wrong?

I also met people that had a first reading, but they went out of it so overwhelmed that they never wanted to come back or went distant from that beautiful practice of Human Design!
They got so scared and confused, and forget why they’re initially attracted to it. What a pity!
I also met people that had a first reading, started to practice and got it all “wrong” because nobody was there to verify with them if they’re on the right track so it’s NOT again their mind taking over the control.

The mind is super powerful, if you think that after a first reading you got it all, and the mind is no longer manipulating your life, I’m sorry to tell you – IT IS still running your life, but now it is just using Human Design to tell you what to do, when and why!
When you stand in front of a correct guide it will immediately detect your level of bullshit , and will throw the mind out of the window. In case you meet a guide that isn’t, it will just put you even more into the trip of information!

I was so naive!

I was so naive to think that everyone that met Human design will invest all their resources energy and time to get properly guided and educated because they don’t want to waste their own time, because they know their life is too precious, and because they know the mind is very powerful so it’s better not to let it be the boss.

I was so naive! To think that people have enough humility to understand that they cannot do it all alone, that they are humble enough to be guided and supported by people that have gone through that process. And know from experience what it takes.
I was so. Shocked and sad to discover that the majority of the people that I met and come to me, are still in that loop – until I tell them my own story until I explain to them what I just explained to you here.

So why do I suggest after saying all of this?
  • Be humble and open to receive.
  • Check with yourself, are you into the knowledge more than you’re into the experience?
  • Invest time, energy, money – to go through a personal transformatio with a guide/s!
Categories
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Studying Human Design

Human Design – the Holistic Perspective

Human Design - The Holistic Perspective

The healing process through Human Design, from a holistic perspective.
I used Human Design as my main lens to observe reality and to observe my healing process. But as a human, I need, in my perspective, a holistic change. I am made out of a lot of components, and those components can support my process. So, in a way, I need to create a womb, a nest, a warm and safe place where I can heal.

In the following recordings, I will go further through each of the aspects that I see that can empower and support your healing process, based on my own experience. But this is only the way I see it, I guess you will have to go through your own trial and error, to see what is right for you. To see when and how and for how long you make those changes, if at all.

This is an invitation to create your own womb, in your own timing, in your own way, to reclaim that space, in need. I know that during those years of my healing process I have created this womb for myself, over and over again, making it cosier, more supportive, finer, for myself, to better deal with the process that I’m going through.

So, a womb is a place for creation, is a place where I have all that i need in the best conditions to evolve. It’s about physical healing, it’s about emotional healing, it’s about mental healing, it’s about asking and receiving support for my process. It’s about expression and it’s about the environment.
When I take all those components and I put them together, I see that I am creating for myself a healthy environment, healthy conditions for me to go through the pain, and the process of being reborn.
 
I don’t know what it’s gonna look like for you. I don’t know, even if this is right for you, to create this womb, but I know that for me, it worked.
I’m a very holistic being, I believe that everything is connected. The way we eat, the way we dress, the way we talk, the way we make decisions, where we sleep, the people that we allow around us. Everything is affecting everything. So I’d like to look at the healing process as a holistic experience where all the components count. I’m inviting you to take your time and to go through this womb creation with curiosity, with joy, with pleasure, with playfulness.
For instance, you could start with a question: “How can you be the mother and the father, and the family of your inner child, in all realms, in all aspects?”
 
  • Personal Guidance – Individual Attention and Empowerment
  • Physical Healing – Sleep, Food, Movement, Hygiene, Rest
  • Emotional Healing – Music, Talks, Meditation, Touch
  • Mental Healing – Nature, Books, Silence, Audios Inspiring Talks, Writings
  • Support – Supportive Friends, HD Community. To be Alone
  • Expression – Writings, Paint, Dance, Music, Art forms
  • Environment – Clothing, Room, Home, Nature, Favourite Places
-“Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course”-

Find more about “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” and start your healing process.
 
Categories
4 Aura Types Bar's Experience Deconditioning Studying Human Design

Neutrinos – The Ocean of Stardust

Neutrinos - The Ocean of Stardust

We swim in stardust. We are constantly communicating with the rest of the universe, and the universe is communicating to us, through neutrinos, which are very small particles that carry mass, and this mass goes through matter.
Why do I tell you this because this is one of the foundations of this work, of healing through and with Human Design.
You are constantly feeding, you are alive with those neutrinos. They are being filtered by your body. Now when I’m talking to you, I’m passing you neutrinos fields through my voice, through that frequency.

What is happening in a healing process is that we observe how we are taking those neutrinos transforming those frequencies and then bringing them out, like a clear breath. As we are constantly taking neutrinos from the environment, from objects, people, and planets. This is how information is moving in this world. So, the stars are affecting you but you are also affecting the stars.
And when I sat with this amazing insight I almost started to cry, because some say that “When you change one person, you change the entire world”. I didn’t understand how this could happen practically before I met Human Design.

But now I can see it in my life, when this healing process of my wounds, of my pain, is happening, suddenly my reality is changing. I see people differently, I see the world differently. I lived in a different reality. I didn’t know that was possible, I did not believe this even existed.
But through my healing process, I can see that I have experienced that. So when we heal our body, and we maintain that healing process we are actually constantly transferring neutrinos, little particles with information.

We are moving them in space through our unique frequency, through our unique light and love. And the beauty is that you can take neutrinos in, conditioning by the stars, by people, by everything. And you can heal them, you can expand them, you can transform those neutrinos and it happens in milliseconds. Even right now we are all swimming in this stardust ocean.

The only thing that makes a difference when it comes to conditioning is, “Are you drawing in this ocean of stardust, or are you swimming in your own trajectory?”. “Are you being blended with all kinds of energies all day long, being lost, with pain, and suffering, tired and exhausted of living ?”

Or, exactly like the “Chi ” in Martial Arts. You take those energies, you don’t ignore them or block them, and then you can create a healing process within yourself, and then you send them back. like this no energy is wasted.
This is for me, the essence of those neutrinos. Is to see how energy moves, which kind of energy we receive in our body, and how to work with that wisely.

I chose in this course the perspective of “healing’, of expanding that energy, of appreciating, of learning from those neutrinos. Bringing in love, learning from pain, and rising from here.
 
This is what I would like to go with you, the process of transformation through healing. beyond the suffering and allowing love with those neutrinos that come to serve this process. Whatever you would receive, doesn’t mean that you have to stay with it, there is an opportunity to transform it. It doesn’t happen in one day or in one week, it is a life journey.But those neutrinos, that stardust that we receive from the universe we give back to the universe.

We are here to dance, we are here to dance the dance of the universe. We are like those little particles. We are here to shine and disappear. There is no need to be a black dot in space, it can be a shiny dot that disappears after it is glimpsed.
-“Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course”-
 
Find more about “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” and start your healing process.
 
Categories
4 Aura Types Bar's Experience Deconditioning Studying Human Design

The Generator / Manifesting Generator – Pain & Healing

The Generator / Manifesting Generator
Pain & Healing

When we look at the Generator Aura, we see an aura that is hugging and enveloping, and warm and magnetizing, attracting life to it. Whenever you see a chart that has a defined sacral center, this red box in the middle, you know that this person will have a Generator Aura ( Manifesting Genreraor Aura. it is the same!)
Imagine a human being sitting in this kind of aura which is saying to life, “Come to me, come to me. I don’t need to go towards you, life”. “Life is coming towards me. I am magnetic, I’m pulling, I’m attracting. I’m opening my arms to life so I can hug it”. This is what the aura is saying.  
All I need to do is sit here, as a human being inside this beautiful aura and allow life to come to me. Because, remember the aura is meeting life, reality, and the Generator Aura is saying, “come to me”, then all I need to do is to observe, patiently, what is coming towards me. What my aura is attracting, which kind of people, events, objects, circumstances. There is no need to push anything because the aura is magnetic.
 
Pain
 The pain is to go against this aura and to try to push. Not knowing that life is coming to me, towards this aura, and start to push. The problem is to try to make things happen. Not noticing the little events, people, occasions, things that are coming to me.
The pain is to ignore all of it. It is to be so busy trying to get somewhere instead of seeing what is here for me, what came into the entrance of my aura with no effort. The pain is to ignore the attraction. Pushing, trying to push, trying to make things happen, fast. Led by the mind who wants to achieve something, to be something. The pain is not to trust that life is coming to me, constantly, in all kinds of forms and ways.
The deep pain is to not see that beauty coming to my door and to think that it needs to be otherwise, that I need to go towards life, and say, and act, and initiate, and make things happen.
 
The Healing 
Life is coming towards me. I can just be and see what is being attracted to my field. Therefore, the healing of this Generator Aura will be to surrender to this feminine energy that is constantly receiving. And to feel, “I am enough. I love this waiting, this observation, this so-called Passive State”.
 
Life is constantly providing me, the aura is constantly drawing things into my life, exactly the things that I need to receive, exactly the people that I need to meet, exactly the situations that I need to live. 
I trust my aura to magnetize, pull, and envelope whatever belongs to me. I trust that if things come to me, but not in the way my mind wants, that is still for the good, and then, something else will be directed to me.
The healing state is allowing the “passiveness”, the receptivity, the feminine energy. Allowing, receiving, life is constantly giving. And the potential of this Generator Aura is to dance with life. Is to master the receptivity and the tango with life.
Life is bringing plenty of things to my door, and I’m appreciating this. Life is bringing me and I let it go through in my body. I’m not pushing away, I’m witnessing the gifts that life is providing, constantly. Not in the shape or form that my mind thinks, but in the form that life brings. The potential is to be one with Gaia, with the vibration of Mother Earth. Which is constantly nourishing through the sun, through the plants, through the movement of Nature.
 
When you observe a healthy Generator Aura you might observe the Tantra’s life itself.The gentleness, the softness, the beauty of receiving the gift, of being alive. So, if you live in this Generator Aura make space for your pain. The pain of pushing, the pain of not believing that things will happen to you without effort.
The healing is through allowing receptivity and feminine energy, and the potential of being one with the giver of this life, the Gaia, Pachamama, which is constantly providing us. And we can just appreciate and participate in the dance of life.
Categories
Bar's Experience Centers Deconditioning Studying Human Design

The Root Center – Defined – Fuel for Life

The Root Center- Defined - Fuel for Life

When the root center is defined, it is responsible for the adrenaline and pressure in our physical body for us to move. It is like gasoline in the car, the car of existence.
 
Pain
 
The pain of having a defined Root center is to have this gasoline, but don’t know where to channel it. Imagine you have a car and you have a constant gasoline tank that never ends. But where should this car go to?The fact that you have energy, the fact that you have fuel to move, doesn’t mean that you have to move all the time, in all directions, to every invitation or offer from life.The pain of having a defined Root center is to be disconnected from a deeper aim, a deeper cause, and not knowing where to direct the fuel of the body. Following other people’s rhythms, and not following one’s own individual rhythm.
The pain is saying, “I know I have energy. I know I have the fuel and the adrenaline to move but I am not orientated well. I feel wasted, I feel that I’m not giving my energy properly and correctly according to my real capacity. That the adrenaline is just wasted, not directed to the cause which is my inner truth.”
 
Healing
 
The healing process of having a defined root center is to say, “I own the adrenaline, I own the pressure in my body and I move in my own specific timing. I move according to my inner truth. I know I can act, I know I have the adrenaline, I know I have the motivation. But I will direct it to what is really for me. I’m not gonna waste the energy to people or places that are not for me, not correct for my life journey”.
I’m gonna drive my car to see the views that are for me, to meet the people that are for me, to go to the activities that are specifically for me. I know and feel the pressure in my body, and I expand into that pressure, into that adrenaline. I’m not wasting it. I’m containing it and loving it well inside my body.
 
Potential
 
The potential of defined Root center after observing the pain of disorientation of a car that is driving all over the place without an aim, without a compass. And the process of containing that adrenaline and knowing how to direct the fuel to the right place, that is how an individual with a defined root heals.The potential is to show all of us that we need the right motivation, we need the right fuel for action. We need to know how to contain the basics of life, the pressure to move and expand and grow from it. It is here to bring the question: How can pressure become a correct movement in space? How pressure when it is well-channelled can last for long? How can we use pressure, adrenaline, the energy from within, this physical urge efficiently and effectively, and not throw it away all over the place just because we have it?
The potential of having a defined Root center is appreciating internal resources. And to navigate, each of them, to the correct cause. I have the fuel, I have the energy, I have the adrenaline and I’m able to contain it, and to use it to the right cause, to the right humans, to the right contexts and events.
 
May we all use our car only when it’s needed. May we all use the fuel of our body that is fueling us to move in space and live this life correctly. Not to be oppressed by the mind, not to move just because the mind is pushing us and there is stress in the body. To move because there is a joy because there is meaning because there is a direction because there is a deep intuition and drive, which is beyond perception, which is beyond written words.
 
-“Healing Me – Foundation Course”-
 
Find more about “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” and start your healing process.
 
Categories
Bar's Experience Deconditioning Essence

Healing through Human Design – Grieving & Meeting the New Me

Healing through Human Design
Grieving & Meeting the New Me

This is one of the most beautiful and deep processes that I am going through, and I see other people going through as well.
You know, before, I had a certain image of myself. I identified certain behaviours, labels, thoughts, feelings as “myself”, as my true nature. And then I met Human Design and started to experiment with the knowledge that I am about to give you.
With grief, a very painful process starts a process of death. I have started to see and still see my identity dying, so many things I was sure that they “are me”, that are “right” for me, that are “healthy” for me.

I felt I was dying. And as we see in life, as we know in life, things are ending. And maybe you have lost someone close to you, or even went through a divorce or breakup, or maybe some just left your life. There is always sadness, pain, in losing something.
Although this “thing” would be beautiful to have, although that “thing” was horrible to have.
Losing something, separating from something, saying goodbye, shows us that we are not here forever. That this body isn’t going to stay here forever. It reminds us that this is only a temporary process. That life is all about living and dying.

But only a few years after the deconditioning started, following my body and living my experiment, I realise: I’m grieving. I’m grieving about all those moments that I did not love myself, that I did not know who I was, that I did not respect this beautiful body. I’m grieving about all the relationships that I had that were led by a personality that was not me. And I noticed myself crying, I noticed, and still notice my body experiencing a lot of pain, in my core, a very old pain. A pain so deep, that resets, that restores the body and heals the little girl that took upon herself so many things that didn’t belong to her.

I’m saying goodby to so many things outside my body, but also parting with physical sensations in my body that were once at my fingertips. These things don’t belong to my body anymore, to who I really am, now. And this is grieving for me. Just allowing myself to cry, everywhere I can. Sometimes I literally cry, and sometimes it is my essence that cries. But also, through crying and saying goodby, I’m healing.
I say, “Thank you, thank you for serving me, thank you for being part of my process, but you are no longer in my process, you are no longer part of my life. And I hold you in my arms and I let go…”

And with the grieving, meanwhile, starts a new process: Meeting the New Me.
A new light starts to awaken, a new being, a new physical sensation starts to emerge. When you start to be aware of who you are, and who you are not, you start to know a new person, a new frequency, the New You.

And even by saying it, I have tears in my eyes, because this is so touching!
It’s like meeting yourself as a reborn, it’s like holding yourself as a baby, it’s like being the mother and the father of yourself, it’s like making love with yourself. A new person starts to emerge.

So, while grieving and saying goodby to something that you are not, too many things that you are not because it’s not only one thing, it’s too many things; you also start to welcome the new you, new behaviours, thoughts, feelings, sensations… and they feel way warmer, they feel way softer, they feel like being at home.

So you are saying “goodby” to one thing, too many things, and saying “hello” to many other things. And when I say “things” it’s not only people or stuff, it’s more subtle, it’s gestures, it’s your attitude. It’s the way you move your body, it’s the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you eat, the way you dress, the way you behave, the way you relate. It’s the way you love, it’s the way you chose, moment by moment.
You actually witness a new perspective of what it means to be alive. And you start to fall in love with that new thing, with this new life. And it’s a miracle, but it’s a miracle that grows gradually, it’s not that you wake up and suddenly you are anew, not at all.

As we say In Human Design, deconditioning it’s a seven years cycle, seven years where you grieve… and seven years where you are excited, sometimes more, sometimes less. So, it’s actually like witnessing your own death, and witnessing your own birth, both at the same time.
And this is what happens through healing: we see what is no longer serving us and we love it as well, we love it so much that it becomes lighter, and a new frequency can enter. So, what is not serving us, the sadness, the pain, certain behaviours, manners which we thought defined us, could be “dissolved”, in love, and like that, we heal.
 
– From ” Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” –
 
Find more about “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” and start your healing process.
 
Categories
Bar's Experience Centers Deconditioning

Heart Center (Ego) – Undefined/Open – Inner Confirmation

Heart Center (Ego) - Undefined/Open
Inner Confirmation

When the Heart center (also called the ego) is completely open, or undefined it is amplifying the energy of the defined heart center around it. It is taking in this energy into its own presence and existence.
 
The Pain
The pain that might appear in a completely open/ undefined heart center is a need to “push”. It is saying “I also need to have commitments”, “I also need to prove my self-worth on the material plane”.
The pain is to identify so deeply with the material plane, “I am my car”, “I am my house”, “I am my bank account”. Then I can feel lost, alone, empty if the mind does not get what it wants. Because what is happening when there is less money? What is happening when the car is broken? Am I really that thing?
And the pain says: yes, you are. And you have less, therefor you are less.
The pain is to feel that you aren’t allowed to simply be or worthy of love. The pain is saying “I must prove myself”, “I must push”, “Who I am is not enough”, “How I am is not enough”, “What I do or don’t do is just not enough”.
 
The Healing Process
Therefore, the healing process will be to breathe deeply and to say “I am loved as I am”, “I am worthy of love, just as I am”. Nothing on the exterior world, on the material plane, not a thing represents the essence of who I am. There is no need for me to push forward and to try to prove to myself, or anybody else, anything. Because I’m alive, life is taking care of me. Because I’m here, on this planet, for a reason. All my needs will arise and just find their place. My deep existence is not dependent on the exterior world. I’m worthy because I am, I am loved because I am.
The material plane in this life is constantly taking care of me, even if it’s not in the way my mind wants it to be. If I look deeply and close enough, if I pay attention, I can see that I am in the arms of life. I am held, I am hugged. Therefore, I have nothing to worry about.
 
The Potential
In fact, the potential of the open/ undefined heart center, permeable and exposed, is to display deep Inner Confirmation of “oneself”. “I confirm myself”, “I recognize, I know myself”, “I don’t need external proof that I’m here, that I’m worthy of love”. And this is the beautiful potential of walking on this earth with this center undefined or wide open, to bring the frequency of self-confirmation, no matter what, no matter what other people say or think about you, no matter what is happening on the outside. You know the confirmation of life simply by being.
And this is the real source of abundance, to first recognize it, and feel it within yourself. Feel inner abundance, inner peace, inner confirmation, before it manifests in the matter.
The heart center, when completely open /undefined, has the potential to show all of us that the material plane doesn’t really influence the way we look and treat ourselves. That we can be kind to each other, give compliments to each other, be supportive and loving. Because once you know and confirm yourself, you can see the beauty of other people, and the way they contribute to life through their own unique expression
So nobody needs to push or prove anything. Nobody should, because it’s not a fight, it’s not a war. Life is taking care of us, to each one of us in unique ways, and we will all meet our needs. Because we are surrounded by love, and love is taking care of us, constantly.
 
– From “Healing Me – Human Design Foundation Course” –
 
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Categories
Bar's Experience Circuits Gates Studying Human Design

The Corona virus and the 36 gate

The Corona virus and the 36 gate

 
How wonderful is it just to be the passenger watching the show? Who knows that it’s all part of the program? And who knows to trust oneself and one’s inner Authority.
 
Inevitable crisis
 
In my design, I have the 35-36 channel. The 36 gate is unconscious and it is in the third line. In today’s collective crisis I must say that I feel at home! All my life I’ve met crises that seemed to come out of the blue, and they always brought strong emotional reactions. Everything appeared lost, and no progress could be seen in the future.
Over the years I got used to those moments, days, of complete chaos within me. Hearing my 35 gate saying, ”Where are we going? Why am I not progressing? What is the next step?” And the 36 gate is just completely buried in the impossible. The death of oneself, hopelessness, crashed and lost in the dark. I know those moments so badly, I used to call my father and cry. To walk in the streets searching for an answer, doing anything to run away from the crises, but they are inevitable.
 
The nature of humanity
 
The best thing I found when the crisis is extremely present is to celebrate the chaos. I mean emotionally celebrating it. Celebrating how powerful emotions can be, how powerful a crashing wave can be, and seeing how it feels to be flashed under the power of water. As we know water is covering most of the surface on the planet, they are a meaningful element for us as humans and they are constantly transforming shape, from gas to liquid.
 
Once I found myself deep down in the crisis, there is an extra emotion that sneaking in, which is deep empathy, the crisis of the 36 gate, may appear in our individual lives but the pain is experienced as a collective pain, it’s like it’s a tsunami or burning fires in the other side of the world, they crush our hearts when we hear about them although they are far away from us.
One of the ways for us to connect as humans are through a crisis is through the pain, as everybody knows what it is, and the secret of the 36 gate embraces, in my experience, the extremities between deep despair an awesome grace and compassion, the compassion that unites people together, not through the idea rather through the emotion of it, feeling that we are after all only humans.
 
After the storm
 
From my 6 line personality, who is climbing on the roof, I feel and hear the silence the crisis brings. Finally, I feel understood among the majority of the people. Welcome to my ordinary cycles, welcome to the crisis, welcome to the unknown of the 36th gate, welcome to the longing for evolution and for the need to feel together as a collective.
What is beautiful is that the crisis does not last. What waits at the end of the tunnel is progress. The progress that one can feel tickling within without seeing its shape or its direction. The progress that brings courage, calling for a change. The kind of progress that remembers what it means to be under a crisis and never wanting to go back there again, the kind of progress that came out of the ashes and survived the attack of the wave.
 
I love this progress, and as we know, it is part of the emotional abstract stream. It comes only when emotional clarity is there, and this might take a while. It might even take a few cycles to get into clarity of what this progress really means?
 
The meaning of having an inner anchor
 
Progress always comes, one way or another. After death life comes, we get sick and we get healthy, we are born and then we die. This is one of the keys that unite us as humans, that we all go on the same track. Progress is always towards the end of the form, the physical form.
The question I ask myself is how do I get there? What do I experience along the way? What does my passenger watch? How much do I enjoy my ride, and remember it only as a ride for this fragile form? Obviously a human form.
 
The coronavirus, in my perspective, is just the beginning of a large process. Every crisis is necessary for progress, every progress needs a deep emotional transformation that touches emotional fear, pain, and hopelessness. Only then can one remember the gift of being alive and start to ask itself what really matters? Now more than ever I understand the power of the human design community in the world. I know it is a mission to provide people their inner anchor, so they can be their primary resource. It’s the way that I see of providing trust in the unknown, seeing that decisions are made by relaxing to the body of oneself, and uncertainty is our great ally. It keeps us fresh, in-tune, and loving what is present now.
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5 years in Human Design experiment-Deconditioning

5 years in Human Design experiment-Deconditioning

I am an Emotional Manifestor. 6/2 Profile. Cross of Separation – 5 years in Human Design experiment – Deconditioning.

FIRST-YEAR

The first year I met Human Design, I remember feeling in love and that I was saved! The knowledge and its accuracy touched my heart deeply and reached every cell in my body. I had three professional readings where I got the basic foundation of my design. While day and night, I was listening to audios, watching videos, and taking in whatever I could.

At that time I had a generator partner, which funny enough almost completed all my undefined centers! I informed him that we could not share a bed any longer. I also explained to him how I’m here to initiate, so I would try not to respond and to be spontaneous from now on because otherwise, it would simply be unhealthy for me.

Slowly, our relationship transformed until we met only when I initiated something. I remember I told him “if you need to be with another girl, go ahead. I cannot give you what you need, and I cannot be available for you as you need.” While saying it I remember crying like hell! Crying out of relief; crying out of the pain that now was released. The mind screamed and the body smiled.

I talked to my parents as well, and I told them about Human Design. I explained to them what it meant for me to be a Manifestor. They didn’t understand what I was doing or what I was talking about. My speech back then was cold and mechanical, and I guess it was hard to understand for people not in the experiment. Although my experiment led to some inner conflicts within the family, I kept loyal to my path. I had no choice, and I knew this process was way bigger than me. In the first year, I saw everything through Human Design eyes. I was breathing it, and I wanted to talk with everybody about it. I wanted everybody to understand how great it is.

Every single day was a completely new discovery. Don’t get me wrong! It was not nice or calm in any way. All the anger was rising to the surface, as well the tiredness of the body. Seeing the body, that is controlled by the mind, and how it suffers immensely. The wish to be alone. The conflict between the inner and outer world.

After half a year I met my guide, who helped me to ground my frequency within the body and to understand that none of it is mental. That no matter what I know actually matters, it’s actually how I live and let go of control. It takes time anyway! We met regularly for one-on-one sessions, and I became a Living Human Design Guide under his teachings. I’m so grateful to have met him, and to follow him until I felt confident within myself. In my view, the wisdom of human interaction cannot be replaced by any book or audio!

The mind made me chase after more and more Human Design material, with knowledge, it is obvious now, that I could not take in half of it! Because my body still is very so condensed and the knowledge could not stay at that level of embodiment. It was at this time I started to record my process and share videos on YouTube (some of the first videos are still there online). I had no one to talk to about my process except my guide, and I felt I needed an outlet of expression about what was happening to me, which was so meaningful, painful, lonely, and extremely right for me.

SECOND-YEAR

In the second year of the Human Design experiment, I met my ex-partner, an Ego Manifestor. Back then, I was living in Europe, and he was living in Israel. We both were in the experiment, studying, and being curious about the mechanics. It felt like two souls that finally met in the body, we could talk for hours about our experience, about what we discovered, and what we observed around us. I felt like I found a partner in this journey who could understand and relate to this way of life. We moved in together and lived in Europe. I realized, looking back, that all the things were examined in real-life, true relationships through constant human interaction. I was not alone anymore and I could not hide anymore. I was constantly exposed!

 We talked day and night about Human Design. I wish I could record all the beautiful insights that we had together, all the depth, and all the brilliant perspectives that we talked to each other about this year.I was inspired to see how we created our own Human Design language, and Human Design perspective on daily life events. I’m so grateful to have had this time of expression, of hearing myself talking freely, expressing my Manifestor flow, and allowing my Manifestor partner to do the same, to perform, for me, his beautiful song.

Being in love with him evoked so much pain within me, and all the anger that I thought that I could hide came to the surface right away!  I understood that no matter what I know about Human Design, it could not save me from dealing with my deepest fears and pain of the past, and all the traumas I accumulated while not being myself.

 All of my wounds opened. I was crying, screaming, falling apart over and over again. The mind could not understand why I would stay in this relationship, and the body knew that there is still a long way together. Once I allowed myself to love myself through the path of Human Design, to love another being, I could see that love only asks to heal. I could see the mind’s stories all the time, and how they pushed me to action; how the mind is always putting everything out there on the other, blaming, shaming myself and the other.

It was one of the most difficult years in my life, I loved and hated with such power. I met my extremities, and I died so many times. The mind wanted to keep control but I could not, the love kept pulling me up on my fit, the body kept on bringing me back to my track, although the mind insisted and argued and wanted to organize and rule every aspect of my life! It was a constant war! Fight for purpose!

 Once again I realized, there is absolutely no choice, and that struggle between the mind and the body just becomes more and more evident. At the end of this year, my partner and I moved together to Israel, both tired. Now I know that only an Ego Manifestor, with his special design, could bring me back home after so many years of isolation, loneliness, and seeking for answers outside of me. His energy brought me to my homeland, to my parents, to my language. I see now that only a man that has the same energetic power that I have could show me that I’m worthy of love, to embrace my Manifestor side, to reflect me that my sweet inner child could heal, to feel that I am a longer stranger, that my heart can open, that I can be a part and still be me.

THIRD-YEAR

The third year of the Human Design experiment was a year of recovery. I had all my wounds opened, and I felt like I was bleeding. My partner and I lived separately, so we could both have some space and some quiet, after a very intense year together. In this year I reached out for therapy, and the therapist gave space to all the emotions and pain coming out of the undefined centers. From all the years I could not be me, that I didn’t know what it meant to be me, I spoke about anger and loneliness.

I knew I had my Inner Authority, so I was not afraid to receive an outside perspective. Actually, I was glad to not only speak the Human Design language. And I felt there was no need for me to communicate only through Human Design mechanics anymore. I know I can speak it and this is enough for me. I stopped talking about Human Design with most people, and only with people who are already into it or they wanted to hear about it from me.

This year I started to connect with two people who are teaching living and transmitting Human Design in Israel. It was beautiful to meet more people that were experimenting and to get to know them through the body. I realized that although two people or more life and teach Human Design, it does not mean that we will connect or fit each other. The fractal line is way more complex than just the common ground of knowledge.This year I let go completely of dance teaching, which was something that I had been doing for the last 4 years. All my life has been dedicated to dance and movement so far. I kept on meeting more and more Manifestors for one-on-one sessions until I realized it’s time for me to initiate my first Living Your Design course for Manifestors! And so I did.

I met 13 beautiful Manifestors from all over the world who were willing and curious to meet up together and to learn the basics of Human Design and dive deeper into their experiment, I am in touch with most of them until today.  At the end of this year, my partner and I moved in together once again. We were ready once again to dive into a more intimate daily encounter, and we did everything we could to prepare us for safe, solid ground, like building a nest on the physical and emotional planes.

FOURTH-YEAR

The fourth year of the Human Design experiment was a mixed feeling year for me. On one hand, I felt like the process of coming home to Israel was completed. I spent days at home resting and creating. My relationship with my partner had the right conditions to grow, I kept on teaching Human Design and meeting people for private sessions, but something in me asked for a deeper change again, I was not sure what it was? 

I started two Human Design collaborations as I wanted to work with others and build a little cozy supportive community, one of them I left at the early development of the project, and the other one last for a couple of months and I had to let go because finally, I could grasp what it means to be a Manifestor, and how much impact I have, therefore how much responsibility I have. I understood through the hard way that I can’t, or want to initiate any large project before I know how to lead myself constantly and know how to navigate my own energy with grace. It was a painful great lesson that showed once again that Human Design is not at all about what I know, it is about how I behave, and it takes time and dedication until fundamental behavior changes, therefore I have to be patient, although it is hard for the mind!

A bit before my partner and I started to build up rutin and create roots where we live, the global pandemic came, and I felt the inner calling for self-confirmation and inner confidence even stronger, there was no outer frame to support or provide trust, all I had was my inner authority. I understood that I needed to dive into the deep pain and suffering that I experience on a daily basis, as the outer chaos was just reflecting on my inner chaos, I saw how much ignorance there is still within, and as well in my intimate relationship. I wanted to meet and to touch deeply the wounded child within me, I didn’t know how to do so? How to change from the source? but the call was there.

I started to go to an energetic healer and after half a year with her, my partner and I broke up. We had 3 years of extreme transformation in a very fast time, we were 2 powerful, stubborn Manifestors, that had much in common but also different ways to walk. Then I realized how hard it is, to start the path of Human Design deconditioning and cultivate an intimate relationship at the same time, my body could not hold the amount of new information and be healthy at the same time. I am grateful that I learned what I am really capable of, and what I am not, how the mind wants things to be, and what the body really needs.    

THE FIFTH 

I moved to the small little village where I grew up. I felt like I needed to be close to family, to be supported, and have quiet. I also was asking to meet my core patterns that cause suffering in my intimate relationship and find the way to my inner home. During that year, I went to all kinds of emotional, physical, energetic amazing healers that supported me and guided me to feel the deeper layers of my body and to come to the beautiful, light, love the energy that I am over and over again. I needed to dedicate all of my resources to healing Because I was broken, tired, as so many things in my life changed since I met Human Design, inside out I had to take time to digest it all, to give space to have discovered. I kept the Human Design teaching on a low fire now, because I had no motivation and energy to lead, and also I needed to let go of everything I believe in, so I could feel ME – with no extra explanation, so saying also goodbye to Human Design was a way to see what is real to me? And what are just a pattern and another way of mind to show me that I am worthy of love because of it?

Ending this year showed me many new faces of what it means to live my design, and I have collected many tools and approaches to meet my body. I feel many things were left behind too, and the way I see and live Human Design is way more clear and clean to me. Now I see Human Design as my personal initiator to the deep healing process of the self, it is the door opening, and at the end of this year, that was stormy and challenging I could feel that a very thick layer was removed, and something very subtle and gently started to show up, it is happening very slowly, and it is still fragile and vulnerable, feeling like a newborn. So now I  make sure to keep the right conditions in order to allow the healing process to continue, to expand in its time. I learned that self-care is the only ground for self-love, and it needs to take shape in all aspects of life, and all the time, I learned to use my willpower to take care of what my body and soul really needs before anything else. Now, finally, I feel the patience not to skip steps on the way of progress, and knowing that I have to pay a very big price if I happen to listen to the mind.I am proud of myself for not giving up surrendering time after time to an unexplainable force that is calling me for self-love. 

Starting a new year…

——-

I know it is a seven-year cycle, a seven-year cycle. I can see the difference, and how many things have changed for me. Year after year I am getting a new meaning, and a new layer of embodiment, that only time can expose. Only life trajectory can expose. There is no choice. I never did this process, the process did me, and it still is.

I did not choose Human Design, it took me, it ripped me apart, and it’s building me up again, time after time, while I am just watching all of it happen. Yes, I use the word “I” in order to communicate the story to you, but every time it is just more obvious that there is no “I” in all of it there is just the process that is being observed.

Let’s see where life will lead me? 

I wish you all good luck on your journey, patience with where you are, kindness in your heart, love for everything that comes your way, the recognition that only time will expose the unfolding story of life through you.