Life is Happening

Life is just happening. We are just taking its shape somehow. It is an illusion, thinking that we can do something about what is happening, or not do anything, or that someone is in charge of something. It is all happening one way or another. The fact that we are able to see it, to accept it, is also not our choice.
Some people call it luck, but if I manage to be correct, or not if I manage to notice or to identify which kind of forces are acting at the moment, it’s not something that is controllable. It’s just something that is happening.I see my mind screaming and fighting to know what is happening, to label it, to structure it, to give it names and explanations, and using Human Design to do that. “This is because of that… and this is because of that…” Those are all stories. They’re interesting stories. It’s nice to share stories, but remember that it’s all motion, the life that is happening.
The Freefall
I found the realization that this embodiment takes time. I didn’t really receive these words in the beginning, “no choice” and “free fall.” I heard the words, but only over time did they slowly sink into me. This was just the beginning.I can see it in myself. I can watch this attachment to the story, to the explanation, and how scary and liberating it all is for existence. It’s also scary for the mind, not knowing. Over and over again, I fall into this trap of analyzing, of trying to reason and make sense out of things that don’t have reason or sense, or they do in a certain constellation, and then they fall apart and reconstruct in another sense.
Living in this space is extremely new for me. Sometimes it’s there and sometimes not. Sometimes I’m totally diving into my realizing and controlling mind which is taking over. There is nothing that I can do about it. It’s happening or not happening. This state of freefall is not something that I can choose to be in. It’s something that is happening to me. Living the Human Design way is not something that I can do. It’s something that is happening to me. That’s so liberating.
You’re Not Doing It
Deconditioning is not a process that one can force. We all have our own timing for when we realize, what we realize, and with whom we realize. We don’t know any of this, so this requires trust. Sometimes I am fully trusting and excited, but this is also dependent on my emotional wave. Life shows me different views. It’s so deep and inspiring, and sometimes completely not. It’s having this blink of realizing that you’re not doing any of it.
The illusion of doing it is a big joke, that I can do deconditioning, that I can choose to live my design. In a certain sense, maybe you can, but on a large scale, it’s just energy passing.I have found that, for me, it gave me a lot of humbleness, and also patience, and self-realization, that I cannot rush the process. I cannot push the process of others, no matter how smart, and how clever and brilliant, I am. Also, for myself, how strict, strong, or determined I am (and with a defined ego, it’s confusing!), I cannot do anything about it.
And, by not doing it, it is happening that way or another. I love observing, catching how people get things, when they get them, or not. I love observing myself, realizing things only when I realize them, not before and not after. I realize things only when life is showing me when it is passing through me, when I’m trusting that it’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.
The Contradiction, or Not
Discussing Human Design, and at the same time thinking that we are doing it, is a contradiction. It’s fine to be there in contradiction. It’s okay to believe in it, until at some point you stop, or not. I’m grateful when those moments arrive. It’s kind of a tiny light to a beautiful possibility of living the life, of expressing life without oppression, without stress, without fear. We all have our own timing. I love the different timing that we each have.Our life, its magic, and its unique expression are creating something. I wish you all a very rich experience, one where you can let go of doing it or of the idea of doing it. Take care and love to your process and where you are.
Awareness + / Contemplation Questions.
Have you experienced a time in your life when the forces took control, where life happened, and you had no control over the outcome?
What did this feel like?
Did you find yourself fighting against it, or did you just let it unfold naturally?
Are you a person who tries to intellectualize everything, to attach explanations or definitions to the various aspects of life, or do you tend to mostly observe?
Perhaps you do a bit of both. If that’s the case, how does it feel in each mind frame? Do you prefer one way over the other?