Manifestor care VS Generator care

During my experience in the Human Design Experiment, I discovered the different love I give. The different care I give as a Manifestor is very different in my experience from the generator love and care that my mind wants to give.
I grew up with a generator mother that took care of our food and the house all the time. She was constantly busy cleaning and taking care of the space.
The example of care I took from her out of my conditioning is to be available for interaction, activity, nourishment and create order in the house.
During the years I tried to copy this behavior. I tried to make food for my lover, to be available for talks, to try to create this generator bond that I felt.
But somehow I couldn’t—or better said, I could not stay there for long. Sooner or later I would become angry, tired, and fed up from this kind of behavior.
When I discovered Human Design suddenly everything clicked into place. I realized that my care and love are very different from the one I observed in my mother.
My care comes from correct initiation; from supporting and empowering people to move to a different step in their life; to provide new starts, new opportunities through my words and actions.
Especially in my design, I can see it through just loving myself and being busy with my own awakening. And that by empowering others, creating resources, and education structures—this supporting others. Sharing my emotional experience is inspiring to others.
2 years ago when I started to meet more and more Manifestors, I recognized these conditioning patterns in relationships: trying to imitate the generator care; responding from sacral conditioning to any need from the outside; being available for interaction, sexuality and physical activity out of a “response”.
The undefined sacral is my place to learn the generator world, to learn about quantities and qualities of energies, but I am still learning that this is not me. It’s not my way of caring. My way of giving to the world and to other people is different from the one I observed while growing up.
When I met my Manifestor partner, I could see how we both fell into the same trap of trying to take care of each other in a way that was not fitting to our real energy.
We learned through time that our care is being expressed by giving space to each other; allowing each other to express fully in a flow of speech; and giving the right impact to each other through waiting and through our inner Authority.
Where I am at in my experience I learned to appreciate very much the generator care, how my mom comes with food and energy to clean the house to hug and to move around.
While my father is a Manifestor as well and just sits on the couch and speaks. I learned to appreciate both. I learned to enjoy both and the most important thing I learned is what fits me and what does not. I learned what is my way of taking care and what is not?
I can appreciate the energies of the generators around me and their energy and their care. Which is, of course, unique and different to each one. And indeed very different from my Manifestor care.
- Manifestors do you recognize this pattern of taking care as well?
- How does it feel to care in your own way?
- How do you care for your expression as a manifestor?